Jasmatbhai is driving
his van along Carrington road,
he is seventy eight,
he is on his way to help
run his familys fruit market,
he is a follower
of Gandhis principles,
of peace and forgiveness,
he is driving his blue van
across an intersection
by the second gate
of the Unitec campus,
by the main gate
of a primary school
he brakes too late,
his van collides
with the BMW ahead,
causing dents, minor damage
the young owner
of the black BMW
cannot tolerate,
this thick-armed student,
this bodybuilder, this car lover
flies out his BMW
opens the van and pulls
the elderly pacifist out,
throws him across the kerbside
and proceeds to redden the grass,
deaf to the mans pleas
and promises of reparation
Jasmatbhai is beaten
and beaten and beaten
until a resident pulls
his attacker away.
He is not moving now.
The police have arrived.
Only thirteen minutes afterwards
the resident notices the dark
stains all over his own pants
and lower shirt, his hands:
he can see at once
there is too much blood.
















Comments
(thick with imagery;
proper close to a power-
ful piece.)
--
'SHARKS DON'T SLEEP' a collection of poems by Eric Hamilton.
--
*DailyLitDeviations | *Critique-It | =TheContestClub | *DailyDeviants
Not For Sale: Fighting Human Slavery
You capture it well.
--
"Now that you have your freedom, how will you hide it from robbers?"-Ho Chi Zen
the tone you've used is so appropriate, especially as you say it was written in anger. the simplicity, the explictness, not shying away from detail but neither divulging in excess.
you build character so succinctly but in such an evocative way ("this thick-armed student,
this bodybuilder, this car lover") and i particularly love how we are brought into the story at the end by engaging with the "passive" onlooker, who has blood on his clothes.
the more i think about this piece the more heartbreaking it is, and the more i empathize with your anger.
--
Why did you have to shoot me through the heart?
Where do you think you shot me?
--
Don't blame me.
I'm just here for the cookies.
--
'Beauty will save the world'
--Fyodor Dostoevsky
--
'Beauty will save the world'
--Fyodor Dostoevsky
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