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:iconpseudometry: More from pseudometry


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Prose by 91816119

Writing by TwilightPoetess

Great Prose and Poetry by leyghan


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Details

Submitted on
October 10, 2012
Submitted with
Sta.sh Writer
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Views
620
Favourites
29 (who?)
Comments
52

License

Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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UPDATED. Thanks everyone for the feedback so far!

Critique suggestions for anyone in a giving kind of mood:

*Plot holes, or unsatisfactorily explained/justified implausibilities

*Whether the whole thing actually really works or not

*Any points where the prose doesn't sound like the viewpoint character's train of thought, actions, sounds more like authorial intrusion

*Whether you felt reading this story actually constituted a good use of your time

*Viewpoint character having a clear and understandable goals or desires that serve as the motivation behind their actions

*Whether any parts jar or are distracting when you read

*Any parts that tell' too much instead of 'showing'

And anything else useful, really
Add a Comment:
 
:iconriparii:
riparii Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013
You have a gift for describing the poetry of life.
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013   Writer
Ah thanks very much! You're far too kind :)
Reply
:iconriparii:
riparii Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013
No, I'm really a bit of an ogre, but you're most welcome,
and it's entirely true. :)
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2013   Writer
Well, all I can say is that if you're an ogre I wish more people were ogres!
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   Writer
:iconcongratulationplz: on the DLD. A little surprise for you this day. :) I already fav'd this, so can't again. I like it very much.
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   Writer
Haha thank you so much, a nice little surprise indeed! So pleased to hear all the positive response to this piece :)
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   Writer
You're welcome.
Forgot to write 'I love the title, too,' even though I had to look the word up in my dictionary, which I use at least ten times a day, I like it.
I really do appreciate new words in vocabulary. Thanks.
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   Writer
Thanks! It sounded appropriate, sounds bee-ish, more so than Apis or to my mind anyway
Reply
:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   Writer
It's nice to say aloud.
And it's a wiser choice than "Apis" for sure ;)
Reply
:iconpseudometry:
pseudometry Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   Writer
Yeah real euphonic
Reply
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