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October 1, 2012
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Comments: 4
Favourites: 15 [who?]

Views: 197 (0 today)
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Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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Wild geese
chevron silhouettes
the grapefruit moon
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:iconmattvoscinar:
While there are several things I love about this piece, I do have to say that the crisp and concise nature towers over the others. At first I thought this was a haiku but realized I was incorrect in that judgement after reading. This piece lacks filler, it lacks overzealous wording, and it lacks unnecessary images. You've taken what you need, put it down, and poof: made yourself a great poem.

The second thing, is of course, the imagery. The brevity of the piece allows the reader to absorb them (the Chevron silhouettes line is one of the most clever descriptions of birds I've ever seen.) And of course, the final line is well placed and just hits the reader.

I think a lot of people could learn from this poem. You've executed it to near perfection. I can't really think of anything I would change. Wonderful job.
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:iconvespera:
`vespera Oct 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Oh that last line :heart: lovely!
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:iconpseudometry:
Thank you!
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:iconriparii:
The grapefruit moon. Indeed.
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:iconpseudometry:
It was almost a golf-ball moon, but seemed too artificial
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